This post is part III of a four part series entitled Teens & Cellphones – A Primer. The first post, Teens & Cellphones – A Primer Part I and the second post, Teens & Cellphones: Manners A Primer Part II have already been published. The last upcoming post in this series focuses on Teen Sexting.  

According to LG, on average, a teen sends a text message every 14 minutes. If you multiply that across the US, there are over 20,000 texts being sent every second! Now that’s a lot of communicating!  But are teens communicating at times and places that are appropriate?  This article will provide a good foundation for you to have a conversation with your teen about cellphone safety. 

Cellphones can give teens a tremendous boost in their personal safety since they can call someone immediately if they need help or are stranded.  Teens can let their parents know where they are, call for directions to get out of an unknown place, etc.  According to a national survey from CTIA and Harris Interactive,     

But cellphones can also pose many risks. There has been a lot in the news in the past few years about the dangers of driving while using a cellphone or texting– and justly so. We have all heard tragic stories where young people were killed as a result. Even if your child doesn’t drive yet, cellphone safety is still a concern. In this post, we’ll cover cellphone safety while behind the wheel and general safety tips for your teen (and you!)    

Cellphone Use While Driving 

The LG Text Survey found that nearly half of the parents surveyed admitted to texting while driving. So it’s no surprise to learn that 45% of teens have likewise admitted to texting while driving. Yet, only 4% of surveyed parents believed their teen was texting and driving. If we are texting and driving, most likely so will our kids. Teaching our children safety begins with us, as parents, and what behaviors we model for them.    

What Are the Risks of Driving while Texting or Talking on the Phone?    

According to Diane Griffith, reporter for myOptumHealth,     

By the time a driver using his/her cellphone notices they need to brake ASAP, it’s too late. More rear-end crashes occur as a result of cellphone using drivers than non-cellphone using drivers.   If your teen is driving the car with other teens in it, distractions will occur.  Watch this 31 second video to see how quickly accidents happen.  Don’t worry, although an accident is implied, this video is not one of those gory one’s that haunt you for weeks. 

General Safety 

OK, great, your teen is not texting while driving (you hope!).  But texting or talking on their cellphone can still be unsafe. As you have seen from the video, talking on the phone or texting creates a lot of distraction. Often times, the teen is not aware of his/her surroundings while using his/her phone.  As a general rule, make sure your teen always keeps a keen eye on what is going on around him/her.  Teens need to be taught that just because they are on the phone, the world does not stop around them.     

Walking while Talking or Texting    

This could be an accident waiting to happen. Here’s what could happen, you could…     

• trip and fall – hurting yourself or others
• disturb others walking on the streets with your loud talking
• annoy the person(s) you’re walking with
• not pay attention as you walk into a busy street
• miss the horn blast from an oncoming car
• get hit by the motorist using their cellphone while driving
• get lost by not paying attention where you’re going 

Times when not to use a cellphone

Safe Tips to Follow – Don’t Text/Talk on the Phone When…    

• Alone in busy public places – like malls, airports, bus stations, etc. unless you are sitting down and in a reasonably safe place. Kidnappers and predators are looking for people who are distracted.
• Walking to your car alone in a crowded parking lot. You will be distracted with your conversation, giving strangers the upper edge in pushing you into the car and letting themselves in.
• Pumping gas. OK, according to Snopes.com, this is an urban legend. No proof has ever been provided showing that a cellphone can ignite a fire at a gas station. Nonetheless, cellphone manufacturers Erickson and Nokia recommend turning off your cellphones while at the pump.
• Flying in an airplane. The U.S. Federal Aviation Administration believes that cellphones and other portable electronic devices may give off radio signals that can affect aircraft communications, navigation and flight control. Cellphone use on airplanes have been banned in the US since 1991.
• Waiting alone by a street, driveway, busy intersection, or deserted area for a ride. You won’t be aware of who is coming to pick you up to take you away.
• Driving.  It’s commonly believed that drivers are safer if using a speakerphone with their cellphone in the car.  However, there is overwhelming evidence to suggest that holding a cellphone or using a speakerphone are equally dangerous.
• Driving.  If you receive a call you need to take, pull over in a safe, well-lit area. Ensure your doors are locked and make your conversation brief.  Tell the person you will call back when you arrive to your destination.
• Driving with someone else on the phone.  If the person driving you is talking on the phone or texting, offer to put their phone on speaker phone or text for them to increase the safety for both of you.
• While doing anything that requires your full attention – like riding a bike, playing a sport, watching children – especially children in a pool!

A Mom’s Perspective

Your teen’s exploration of how to enter his/her friends’ phone numbers in his/her new cellphone or learning the latest texting lingo should be the least of your teen’s concerns. S/he will need help in seeing the big picture and realizing where safety and common sense come into play. 

As Dr. Sophy stated in my interview with him in Teens & Cellphones:  A Primer Part I, it’s up to you, the parent, to instill “etiquette, appropriateness, and safety” with your child as s/he begins using a cellphone for the first time. Remember, there are plenty of teens out there more than happy to teach your teen “their” way of communicating in this fascinating new world of technology. 

Before giving your teen a phone, ensure you have discussed: 

• your expectations of his/her use of the phone
• the times of day your teen is allowed to text and/or make or receive calls
• boundaries of use and what happens if a boundary is crossed
• cellphone manners
• general safety
• driving safety
• sexting – what is is and what do do if your teen receives a sext message

Be sure to sign up for the WellConnectedMom.com e-mail or RSS feed to be notified about next week’s post,  Teens & Cellphones:  Sexting A Primer Part IV.  This article will cover what is sexting and how teens are using it on their cellphones to communicate to each other.  As always, I welcome your comments, additional safety suggestions, and personal experiences.  Please leave a comment to share with other readers.   

Previous Posts in the Teens & Cellphones Series:  

Part I:  Interview with Charles Sophy, a psychiatrist and the Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS).       

Part II: Manners  

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by Lori Cunningham  

Manners 

 GIVEAWAY:  See “Is Your Computer Ready for Back-to-School” to win 1 of 3 copies of System Mechanic!    Hurry, the giveaway ends Sept. 2nd!!!

This post is part II of a four part series entitled Teens & Cellphones – A Primer. The first post, Teens & Cellphones – A Primer Part Ihas already been published. The next upcoming posts in this series deal with the topics of Safety and Sexting. 

Just what are manners and how important are they?According to Wikipedia, “manners are the unenforced standards of conduct which demonstrate that a person is proper, polite, and refined. They are like laws in that they codify or set a standard for human behavior, but they are unlike laws in that there is no formal system for punishing transgressions, other than social disapproval. They are a kind of norm.” 

As with any type of communication, manners are a must with texting. Manners show people that you have respect for them and that you value them. It’s no surprise that manners–good or bad– are taught or at least learned in the home. Children pick up cues from their parents on how to behave. Whether parents intentionally teach their children or not, monkey see, monkey do comes into play. 

The LG Text Survey they found that 42% of parents texted someone while at the dinner table. Interestingly enough, 69% of teens admitted to the same behavior. Children are watching their parents and acceptable standards of behavior are being formed years before a child ever receives their first cellphone. 

1. Don’t text or talk if you are face-to-face talking with others.
2. Don’t text or talk on the phone during mealtimes, family time, or late at night.
3. Refrain from texting and walking.
4. Never text and drive – accidents can happen within seconds.
5. Answer your phone in a bathroom? Not recommended. It invades others’ personal space.
6. Private conversations in restaurants, waiting rooms, hallways, buses, etc. are difficult and you tend to talk louder to compensate for background noise. Let your voicemail take the call. If you must return the call, step outside.
7. Remember to turn your phone off or to vibrate during the movies, plays, shows, rehearsals, weddings, funerals, meetings, job interviews, church, library, museum, etc.
8. If a text or phone call comes in that you have to respond to immediately, excuse yourself but make your absence brief.
9. Do not use CAPITALS when texting people. They will interpret your tone as screaming.
10. Make your text messages brief. Verizon recommends using e-mail over texting for any message over 160 characters.
11. Don’t text anything you’re not willing to tell someone in person. Threats, insults, and hurtful messages are most likely to be forwarded to others to humiliate the original sender
12. Do not take/accept any inappropriate pictures or texts.  If you receive one, delete it immediately.
13. When texting, ensure you double check the phone number you’re sending your text to.
14. Also double check your message, tone, and intention before sending. After you hit send, who knows how far and to who your message will travel.
15. Even if people are texting or accepting calls while talking to you, don’t repeat the same behavior back. Treat others how you want to be treated rather than how they treat you.
16. Model manners in your texts to your children when you text them. Treat them with the same respect you expect back.

Searching YouTube, I found a somewhat humorous video from eHow on How to Practice Proper Cell Phone Etiquette.  It focuses on a couple where the wife has issues with phone separation: 

A Mom’s Perspective

Many of these tips are common sense. But reflect on your own behavior. Have you used your cellphone without an earpiece while driving? Have you checked your messages while driving? Have you fired off a text without checking it first only to find you caused friction with the person who received the e-mail? Have you interrupted a conversation to check a text or answer a call? For many, convenience outweighs common sense. Remember, our children are watching us. This reminds me of one of my favorite songs that still brings tears to my eyes. It’s called Be Careful Little Eyes What You See. The song isn’t about phone etiquette, but it reminds us that all of our actions are being watched by our children. If we want them to grow up to be loving, caring, generous, happy adults, we must first model for them the behaviors to emulate.    

I have to admit, before writing this article, I didn’t think much about when I was using my phone.  Now that I’m more aware, I’ve actually caught myself checking my e-mail or a text while at a restaurant, at our table at home during lunch, and while sitting at a red light while driving.  Oops.  And who do you think is usually with me while I am doing this?  My four and seven year olds.  I am making a committment now to model the behavior for my children that I would like to see them demonstrate when they are teens.  How about you?

Be sure to come back next week to read Teens & Cellphones:  Safety  A Primer Part III.  This article will cover the importance of refraining from texting or calling while driving as well as general safety tips when using a cellphone.  I welcome your comments, additional manner suggestions, and personal experiences.  Please leave a comment to share with other readers.

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by Lori Cunningham     

Cellphones can be a powerful and an effective tool in communicating to others.  Teens know this better than anyone else.  For many teens, cellphones are their “lifeline” to their social life.  In fact, according to a national survey from CTIA and Harris Interactive,    

The study goes on to reveal that according to teens, cellphones are the most telling thing about their social status or popularity behind clothing – even more so than watches, jewelry, or shoes!    

Teens surveyed stated that they spend as much time texting as they do talking each month.  This is especially true for girls. Teens prefer texting over talking because:   

• it’s faster
• they can multitask
• avoid verbal conversation
• it’s fun

Parents appreciate cellphones too because they can be their “lifeline” to their kids since texting or calling is a great way to get a hold of them.   LG conducted a national “LG Text Ed Survey” on teens 13-17 and their parents  and found that 75% of these parents  considered themselves “texters” and 86% of them have used texting to communicate with their teen.  As a result of texting, parents feel closer to their teen.     

Like most parents, you are likely to be concerned about your teen’s use of their cellphone.  Or perhaps your children are younger and you believe that cellphone usage is not a concern…just yet.  I used to think that way too.  My oldest child is 7 years old.  Why do I need to think about her use of cellphones at this age?     

According to Dr. Charles Sophy, our children are learning acceptable cellphone behaviors long before they get their first phone.  I had the unique opportunity to interview Dr. Chalres Sophy for his perspective on a teens’ use of  cellphones.  Dr. Sophy is a psychiatrist specializing in Adult, Child & Adolescent Psychiatry and Family Practice and the Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS).     The DCFS provides quality child welfare services and support so children grow up safe, healthy, educated and with permanent families.  The Los Angeles program is the largest DCFS  in the country. 

In my interview below, I asked Dr. Sophy to answer the following questions: 

1. Explain the benefits and problems associated with children having their own cellphones.
2. How can a parent decide if a child is ready for a cellphone?
3. Is there an age that is too young for a child to have a cellphone?
4. What kinds of limits work best for a teen with a celllphone?
5. Is turning off texting an option?
6. What are some of the statistics related to parents and teens texting and sexting?
7. Some of the states, like California, have outlawed driving and texting.  Has this really decreased the number of people texting while driving?
8. Late night talking and texting can be a problem.  Do you have suggestions on how parents can curb this?
9. How much if any privacy should you grant a teen with a cellphone?

A Mom’s Perspective  

Dr. Sophy hit the nail on the head when he stated that “parenting begins with you the parent.”  In determing whether your child is ready for a cellphone, first assess your child’s  maturity.  Ensure s/he is capable of taking care of  the phone and using it wisely.  

There is so much more to learn about having a cellphone than just its “cool” features.  Once you’re ready to give your teen a cellphone, take the time to educate your child first on how to use their cellphone.  It’s up to you, the parent, to teach them about “etiquette, appropriateness, and safety,” according to Dr. Sophy. 

In my preparation for the interview, I conducted a lot of research online.  There is so much information out there on teens, cellphones, and driving, it’s overwhelming.  As a mom, I’m interested in knowing as much as possible how to protect my children, but there’s just too much to take in.   

To make it easier on you, I decided to write a series of articles to further alert you about teens and cellphones.  Over the course of three further posts, I will educate you about Teens & Cellphones: Manners, Safety, & Sexting.  

I highly encourage your comments and suggestions during this article series.  Besides driving a car, the cellphone is potentially one of the next most dangerous common technologies a teen can use. 

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by Lori Cunningham

Where did the Summer go?  Is it already time to get our kids ready for going back-to-school?  This Summer seemed like the fastest moving Summer yet! 

If you’re like me, you’re scurrying around buying back-to-school clothes, supplies, and backpacks, decluttering and deep cleaning your kids’ rooms and work spaces,  and checking out the best price for kids’ haircuts.  We all want to ensure that our children are well prepared for going back to school.

But what about the computer your child uses for school?  Have you run a defrag, cleared up disk space and cache memory?  Is it protected against spam, viruses, and hackers?  You know that  throughout the year, your computer is going to take a beating with homework assignments, Internet research, presentations, research papers, educational games, you name it. 

Our family computer is used extensively.  I am on it daily and often have many programs opened at once.  As a result,  depleted RAM memory is almost a daily occurrence as I typically have 25 websites open at once plus programs such as Outlook, Excel, One Note and Windows Explorer or Windows Live Photo Gallery.  OK, for those curious techies out there, I have 4 GB of RAM installed – I need it to keep all these programs running at once!

It is very important to me to ensure that our computer can work at its best despite my heavy usage.  If my daughter needs my computer, I prefer not to close everything down so she can use it.  Fortunately, I have found a fantastic tool that helps keep my computer in check and keeps it running at its best—despite me!

I know it works well because I have been using it since February when Iolo contacted me to review their best selling software, System Mechanic*.  When Iolo approached me, I must say I was leery.  I had been through “free” versions of similar software before and its use resulted in ad pop-ups and continued issues with my computer.  System Mechanic was different.  First it appeared to be so much more comprehensive than any other “computer clean-up” tool I have used before.  Second, it cost money.  Shucks.  I prefer free but I would rather do without the hassles of computer issues and remembering to regularly clean my temporary memory cache.

System Mechanic Overview

The best way to tell you about how to use System Mechanic  is to show you.  Of course, this requires airing my “dirty laundry,” as you will see from the screenshots below.

First, let’s start with my PC Health Status that I took recently.  The Health Status icon remains on your desktop to give you an ongoing evaluation of the state of your computer.  System Mechanic  can analyze your computer for its health status whenever you would like or it can work automatically, behind the scenes.  I prefer for it to work automatically, but to demonstrate System Mechanic  capabilities, I turned off the automatic analysis and correction to show you how it works.

As you can see from this screenshot, my health and security status is poor due to nearly 1 GB of system clutter, registry problems, etc.  System clutter occurs from not cleaning out your computer’s temporary cache which results from having too many websites open at once.  Registry problems occur with loading new programs and deleting old ones - over time the

Windows registry can become corrupt.

In observing these reports, I can see that my computer is about ready to “freeze up” if I don’t clean things up soon. 

I have the choice to repair everything at once or selected items at a time.  Of course I choose to repair all the items at once, as it is the easiest solution.  It took roughly 4 minutes to clean everything up for me.

A look at the Reports section gives me a recap of what was recovered or fixed and the date it was performed.  The Odometer shows that over the lifetime of using System Mechanic , it has fixed nearly 3,900 problems and salvaged 1 GB of hard drive space for me.

As I mentioned earlier, System Mechanic  allows you to automate tasks so you don’t need to remember to do them yourself.  

A Mom’s Perspective

As a heavy user of my computer, I have learned to rely on and appreciate System Mechanic  to keep my computer in check.  Before I began using System Mechanic , I was having serious problems with my computer.  I was afraid to reboot it for fear it wouldn’t start up again, which had happened in the past.  Since loading System Mechanic  on my computer, I am able to restart it without hesitation. 

Now that said, I’m not going to say that my computer hasn’t had issues since February.  Due to my extensive use of open Internet windows, I occasionally have “freezing” problems where my computer’s two processors and 4 GB RAM are all used up.  I currently have  System Mechanic to run only if the computer has not been in use for 20 minutes.  When I have long jaunts at the computer, System Mechanic  is unable to run.  However, if I remember, I can use System Mechanic ‘s All-in-One tool to clean things up right on the spot.

I have been very happy with System Mechanic  and would recommend it for your family computers.  I suggest you consider System Mechanic  to manage your computer maintenance for you.  Taking care of this worry now will hopefully alleviate unneeded stress as your family computer experiences more wear-and-tear during the school year.  In addition, I’d recommend it for your parent’s or in-law’s computer, especially if you or your husband are the one who they typically call with computer issues.

 System Mechanic  is the #1 best-selling and award-winning PC Tune-up software.  It has been around for over 12 years.  You can buy 12 months protection straight from Iolo System Mechanic  for $39.99, a $10 discount off the regular price. 

HOWEVER, I requested an even better price for  WellConnectedMom.com readers!  To help you get your computer ready for back-to-school, type in the promotional code  LEARN and you can get System Mechanic for $24.95 with the option to extend it’s usefulness an additional year for $14. 

Not sure yet whether to buy it?  Then see if you can win it first!

WIN IT!!!

Iolo has generously donated 3 copies of System Mechanic to be given away to lucky WellConnectedMom.com readers!  Two winners will be drawn from the comments below using Random.com.  Read below to see how the third lucky winner will guarantee their own copy of System Mechanic!

TO ENTER:

1.     Leave a comment about the shape your computer is in.

2.     Follow Iolo Tech on Twitter.  Leave another comment here to tell us you are following Iolo Tech.

3.     Become a fan of the WellConnectedMom.comby clicking on “Like” on the Well Connected Mom Facebook page.  Leave a comment here to tell us you’re now a fan.  If you’re already a fan, leave a comment too for an extra entry!

The more comments you leave, following the guidelines above, the better your chances of winning!

Another Way to Win!

The third lucky winner will be chosen solely on the number of tweets they tweet about this article and/or @Iolo_tech or #system mechanic on Twitter.  The person with the most tweets wins!

Contest ends on September 2nd @ 10pm PST.  Contest open to all US residents.  Good luck and thanks for spreading the word! 

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by Lori Cunningham

Recently, a friend of mine, Janet, told me about this great website she’d found on the Internet to teach her daughter about our 50 states.  Janet’s daughter is entering 5th grade and she wanted to give her a head start on some of the things she’ll be learning this year in school.

The website is a free educational website produced by Sheppard Software.  They profess to have “hundreds of educational games, activities, quizzes, articles and more for kids and everyone to use online – and free!”  There is so much to look at, I’d probably need to write a 10 post series on all of the resources!  At first glance, the website with all its vibrant colors appears simplistic.  To me, it didn’t appear to have a lot of “depth,” meaning it didn’t look like it would be very engaging.  But, looks can be deceiving!

Today I want to focus on the US Geography Names section of the website.

On the US Geography Names page, you can learn about Capitals, States, and Landscape (rivers, oceans, and lakes).  For each of these three sections, there is a tutorial  to explain where the Capital, State, or Landscape item is located.

First you start with the Tutorial, which tells your child the name of every state s/he clicks on.  There is a drop down list to the right, I recommend you help your child to learn by regions first (ie, Southern States, Great Lake States, Pacific States, etc.)

Now you’re ready for States 1.  In this level, the game says the name of a state and wants you to click on the outlined state within a region in which is belongs.  If you get it wrong, you get two more chances before it shows you the right location.

Once you’ve mastered States 1, you’re ready for States 2.  In this level, you drag the picture of each state into the correct spot.  The game works region by region so placement is easier.  However, the are no states lines, so it is still a challenge.  This is where you begin to see how rivers tend to divide state lines.

The fun continues until you reach States 9 where you are to drag, rotate it, and size each state onto the map.  Talk about difficult!  Perhaps at this level, it stops being fun!  LOL!

I spent two hours with my 7 year old daughter playing the States game.  We started with the Tutorial and worked ourselves up to Level 4.  She couldn’t wait for her daddy to get home.  After dinner, she took him into our office and showed him the game.  He was overjoyed to see how much she knew about the location of the states.  UNTIL….she turned the tables on him and asked him to place the states on the map without boundaries!  He squirmed a bit and then asked her to help him place them.  She was delighted to help.

When my friend first told me about the game, I was intrigued, but not moved enough to go find the website.  After all, aren’t we all too busy these days?  But once you see how the game works, you get hooked, and it was a great bonding time for my daughter and I.  So, for those of you who don’t want to take the time right now to check it out, I have prepared a video you can watch that shows the US States game in action — at Level 2.  Take a look………….

A Mom’s Perspective

I had a great time re-learning our country’s geography along with my daughter.  Earlier in the day, my daughter asked me if I would play Mr. Potato Head with her (again!).  I told her I had something special planned.  She sat on my lap as we took turns strategically placing each state on the US map.  After we were done, my daughter ran to her room to get her US States Map Book she received for Christmas.  She now has renewed interest in it.  In fact, she’s eager to learn our 50 capitals now!

In reflecting upon my US Geography learning experience with my daughter, there are three points important for moms to know:

1.)  Learning needs to be interactive – educational games like this one engage children and make it fun to learn.  I think back to when I was a 5th grader – I came up with picture words to remember the US capitals.  It was tortuous trying to remember all 50 of them.  With today’s free interactive games, learning is fun and competitive. 

2.)  There are plenty of interactive educational games online to supplement your child’s schooling.  Sheppard Software is a great resource, but there are plenty of other free resources.  Search Google and YouTube on the topic you want to learn about.  You’ll be amazed at the resources available – right at your fingertips!

3.)  Use online learning as a bonding time with your child.  My daughter has enjoyed spending a lot of time on Disney.com learning all sorts of things.  I have been very impressed with all the things she has self-learned.  But spending time with her on the US States game really hit home for me the fact that 1.) I can easily direct her learning to more relevant educational topics and 2.) learning together on the computer is a great bonding time and that’s priceless!

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