{"id":23940,"date":"2019-05-17T11:08:53","date_gmt":"2019-05-17T18:08:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/?p=23940"},"modified":"2019-05-17T11:08:53","modified_gmt":"2019-05-17T18:08:53","slug":"why-i-recommend-this-for-your-childs-first-phone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/why-i-recommend-this-for-your-childs-first-phone\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I Recommend This for Your Child’s First Phone"},"content":{"rendered":"

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When it’s time to get your child’s first phone, many just give them the one they upgraded from. It makes sense, but it could do more harm than good.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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If you have a younger child, think about the future.  When he is learning to drive, would you allow him to use your brand new Tesla? <\/p>\n

Perhaps, if it’s your only car, but most likely, you’d start him off on the older car first, right?  This way, if he scrapes or crashes the car, it’s a little bit easier to take.<\/p>\n

The same thought process applies to your child’s first phone.  I’m a big advocate of what I call, escalated responsibility. <\/p>\n

Escalated responsibility<\/strong> simply means to start children\/teens off slowly with a cellphone and some of its capabilities, then gradually add more as the child shows maturity.<\/p>\n

Giving your child a new iPhone X or even the last year’s model that you upgraded from, is like giving him\/her the keys to the Tesla before learning how to drive.  <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Escalated Responsibility<\/span><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Child's

Image by Okan Caliskan<\/a> from Pixabay<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/p>\n

Escalated Responsibility is all about “earning” trust and growing in responsibility. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Most kids get their phones at 6th-grade promotion.  I remember when all of my daughter’s friends received their first phone at this time.  Trust me, I heard about it.<\/p>\n

A child’s first phone should be given at 13 year’s old.  Anticipation is not a bad thing and by the time my children received their phone, all the phone experimentation and talk about new apps from their friends died down.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waiting until age 13 helped our kids in a number of ways:<\/h3>\n
    \n
  1. It gave them a clear timeframe when they could receive a phone<\/li>\n
  2. It gave them character and resilience to understand that just because all their friends have something and they don’t, life goes on<\/li>\n
  3. They didn’t set the “rules” on when they received a phone, we did<\/li>\n
  4. They did not get caught up in the frenzy of trying every new app and experimenting with it<\/li>\n
  5. If my daughter really wanted to be on Instagram, I allowed her to use my Instagram account.  After she friended her friends with my account, it made it easier to keep an eye on what her friends were posting<\/li>\n
  6. It allowed my children to anticipate and then appreciate the phone more once they received it<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Once your child’s first phone is given, the floodgates should not be opened up.  Limit your child on what he can do with his first phone. <\/p>\n

    The best first step is to limit to calls and texting.  And limit the total number of individuals she can text to.  Allow more people once she shows maturity.<\/p>\n

    After this step, you can introduce data into her phone’s plan.  Allow a certain number of apps to start.  Ensure no apps are downloaded without your permission. <\/p>\n

    Make sure you have passwords to all social media accounts.<\/p>\n

    As responsibility continues, allow your child to access more apps and data.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Why is escalated responsibility important?  Well, for one, it limits your impact both financially and emotionally.  And two, there’s is actually something much deeper.<\/p>\n

    To get more to the heart of things, we are really talking about entitlement.  Let me explain further.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Is Your Child Entitled to a Phone?<\/span><\/h2>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \"Child's

    Image by Hanna Kovalchuk<\/a> from Pixabay<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/p>\n

    Is your child expecting you to give him a phone?  Do you really have a choice in the matter?<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    According to Doug Andrew, from his book Entitlement Abolition, he states:<\/p>\n

    \u201cIn today\u2019s me-centric-instant-gratification world, too many of us fall into the trap of self-centeredness and consumerism.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    He goes on to say that entitlement<\/strong> is human nature once knowledge, material wealth, and abundance builds in our lives.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \n

    As parents, we want the best for our children but sometimes we forget the distinction between enabling them versus empowering them.<\/span><\/em><\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Sure, giving your child your old phone is convenient, and quite frankly, your child likely expects it, whether voiced or not.  Or, she may be holding out for a brand new phone.<\/p>\n

    The thought of earning money to buy a phone isn’t necessarily at the top of their minds.  As happened with most of their friends, children expect their parents to give them a phone…and a good one.  This is entitlement.<\/strong><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Fast forward to the future, Andrews calls entitlement the “plague” of today’s companies.  It brings about a pervasive “what’s in it for me?” mindset that disrupts the “we” mentality and the vision of a business. <\/p>\n

    Andrew states about kids nursed through entitlement,<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \u201cThese are young people who may have been born on third base, but grew up thinking they had hit a triple.”<\/em><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Their sense of accomplishment becomes warped<\/strong>. They believe they got to where they are by their own accomplishments, not because of help from Mom and Dad. <\/p>\n

    And it’s not only Mom and Dad.  When I grew up, only the most deserving received trophies when playing sports.  Today, many kids receive trophies just for participating!<\/p>\n

    Andrew believes that to help children past their natural sense of entitlement,<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    “we must teach your children ‘how to fish’ rather than dumping fish into their laps.”<\/span><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

     <\/p>\n

    We take the time to teach our kids to drive, we should do the same with giving your child his first cell phone.  The cell phone and car are the top two things older kids and teens desire most. <\/strong><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Use both of these “rites of passage” as opportunities to teach your kids lifelong lessons.<\/span><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

     <\/p>\n

    First Cell Phone<\/strong><\/p>\n

    So, let’s go back to the topic of giving your child their first phone. Instead of giving her your old iPhone, give your child a flip phone.  Yes, that’s right, a flip phone.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Why a flip phone?<\/strong><\/p>\n