{"id":3474,"date":"2011-07-23T01:46:07","date_gmt":"2011-07-22T18:46:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/?p=3474"},"modified":"2011-07-23T01:46:18","modified_gmt":"2011-07-22T18:46:18","slug":"mobile-etiquette-who-cares","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/mobile-etiquette-who-cares\/","title":{"rendered":"Mobile Etiquette?  Who Cares?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #888888;\"><a rel=\"attachment wp-att-3491\" href=\"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/23\/mobile-etiquette-who-cares\/mp900448484-400\/\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-3491\" title=\"Teens and Cellphones\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900448484-400.jpg?resize=280%2C224&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"microsoft images\" width=\"280\" height=\"224\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900448484-400.jpg?w=400&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900448484-400.jpg?resize=300%2C240&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 280px) 100vw, 280px\" \/><\/a>by Lori Cunningham<\/span><\/p>\n<p>We all care. \u00a0People misuse technology all the time and we are quick to point out how rude they are. \u00a0Once a cellphone rings and a person answers it, it&#8217;s like they are in another world &#8212; completely forgetting where they are and how loud they are talking. \u00a0It amazes me how tuned out a person can be when talking on their phone&#8230;and walking across the street!<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"font-size: 1.17em;\"><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\"><em><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">&#8220;Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.&#8221; \u00a0Emily Post<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-3477 alignleft\" title=\"Anna Post, great-great granddaughter of Emily Post\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/Anna-Post-2-WO.jpg?resize=120%2C180&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Anna Post, mobile etiquette, cellphone manners\" width=\"120\" height=\"180\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/Anna-Post-2-WO.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/Anna-Post-2-WO.jpg?w=618&amp;ssl=1 618w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 120px) 100vw, 120px\" \/><\/span>Although people misuse technology, they still care about mobile etiquette. \u00a0I know I have been guilty of a few infringes\u00a0\u00a0myself. \u00a0According to Anna Post, &#8220;When people stop caring about etiquette, that&#8217;s when we need to start worrying!&#8221;<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"font-size: 1.17em;\"><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">I had the privilege of speaking to Anna Post, the great-great granddaughter of the famous Emily Post. Anna is also the co-author of\u00a0<em>Great Get-Togethers<\/em> (William Morrow, 2010), and the author of\u00a0<em>Do I Have To Wear White? A modern etiquette expert, Anna covers topics ranging from green weddings and business etiquette to politics and pop culture. A regular contributor to Reuters and DailyWorth.com, Anna conducts business etiquette seminars across the country.<\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Recently, <a title=\"Intel's Consumer home page\" href=\"http:\/\/www.intel.com\/consumer\/index.htm?iid=gg_play-en_US+home_consumer\" target=\"_blank\">Intel Corporation<\/a> sponsored a study on &#8220;<a title=\"See Intel's Mobile Etiquette newsroom\" href=\"http:\/\/newsroom.intel.com\/docs\/DOC-1883\" target=\"_blank\">Mobile Etiquette<\/a>,&#8221; conducted by Ipsos to<span style=\"color: #000000;\">&#8221;\u00a0gain insight into how parents and children use their mobile technology devices (laptops, netbooks, tablets, smartphones) and how those behaviors impact their relationships.&#8221; <\/span>Anna Post joined Intel in deciphering the results.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">Intel found that*:<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>50% of children 8-12 years old report that they have two or more mobile devices.<span style=\"color: #888888;\"><a rel=\"attachment wp-att-3492\" href=\"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/23\/mobile-etiquette-who-cares\/intel-logo-550-x-363\/\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-3492\" title=\"intel-logo-550-x-363\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/intel-logo-550-x-363.jpg?resize=168%2C110&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Mobile Etiquette Study\" width=\"168\" height=\"110\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/intel-logo-550-x-363.jpg?resize=300%2C197&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/intel-logo-550-x-363.jpg?w=550&amp;ssl=1 550w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 168px) 100vw, 168px\" \/><\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Nearly 1 in 5 children 8-12 years old (19 percent) say they have 3 or more mobile devices.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Children report spending approximately 2-3 hours per day using their mobile devices.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Compared to younger children (ages 8-12), teens spend significantly more time on their laptops (3.7 hours vs. 3 hours) and cell phones (2.9 hours vs. 1.9 hours).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Interesting&#8230;and perhaps scary&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">&#8220;One-third of children report they would rather go without their summer vacation than give up their mobile devices.&#8221;<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">After reading the Intel Mobile Etiquette results, I asked Anna a number of questions. \u00a0I have paraphrased her answers below.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Do you believe we are more connected or disconnected than ever before?<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;More connected, definitely,&#8221; Anna responded. \u00a0 In the survey of both teens and parents, 75% each said devices have connected them more.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Anna expanded on the importance of etiquette and teaching our children&#8230;<\/strong><br \/>\nEtiquette gives parents permission, authority, or structure to tell kids what to needs to change.\u00a0 Implementing the structure is the tough part &#8211; consistency and role modeling is essential.\u00a0 Etiquette is important in how you interact with your kids &#8211; you want your \u00a0relationship to be good, positive, and constructive. \u00a0However, that doesn&#8217;t mean that your kids will always be happy with you. \u00a0Nonetheless, there is something freeing for parents in knowing that they are doing the right thing, regardless of how children respond.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3490 alignright\" title=\"Teens and Cellphones\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900446468-400.jpg?resize=280%2C280&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Monkey See, Monkey Do\" width=\"280\" height=\"280\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900446468-400.jpg?w=400&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900446468-400.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900446468-400.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 280px) 100vw, 280px\" \/><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>What age do you believe is appropriate for children to have cellphones?<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Anna believes that you can&#8217;t cite any one age, kids have different\u00a0developmental\u00a0rates.\u00a0 It comes down to what families need mobile support for. \u00a0Keeping in touch when parents are working and their kids are getting out of school is paramount for many parents. \u00a0 \u00a0According to the Intel study, <span style=\"color: #888888;\"><a rel=\"attachment wp-att-3490\" href=\"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/23\/mobile-etiquette-who-cares\/mp900446468-400\/\"><\/a><\/span>parents on average said age 13 is the age kids should get their first device. \u00a0However, many kids reported that they received their first device at age 11.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>What critical advice would you like to impart to parents in advising their teens with phones?<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>1.\u00a0 Communicate about any kind of technology &#8211; TV shows, websites, Facebook, phones, etc.\u00a0 Engage with technology across the board. \u00a0Discuss how much content can a child text, and when and what subjects are off limits.\u00a0 Anna believes parents should check on their teen&#8217;s use of technology and teens should know it&#8217;s being done.<\/p>\n<p>2. \u00a0In setting rules\/guidelines for mobile technology usage, Anna believes it can go both ways &#8211; children should be able to come up with rules &#8211; even for parents. \u00a0When kids help to express and verbalize behaviors that their parents are using, it helps them feel better too.\u00a0 They have a stake in the rules.<\/p>\n<p>To help kids understand the importance of rules and etiquette, parents can look at examples of other people using cellphones and ask &#8220;what did you think about Max&#8217;s phone behavior?&#8221; \u00a0Engage your kids and get their opinion.\u00a0 Give them your view on the good and bad of it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The Intel Study discovered:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>&#8220;<\/strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Ninety-four percent of parents agree that they must set a positive example if they expect their children to practice good mobile manners.&#8221;<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Unfortunately, setting a good example isn&#8217;t always easy:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>59% of children have witnessed their parents commit common mobile infractions, including the use of a mobile device on the road (59 percent), at dinner (46 percent) and during a movie or concert (24 percent).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Nearly half of U.S. children (49 percent) say they don\u2019t see anything wrong with using technology at the dinner table.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Nearly 40 percent of parents admit they sometimes spend too much time using a mobile device in front of their children, and 42 percent of children think their parents need to disconnect more when they are at home.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Our world is full of instant gratification, and cellphones\u00a0propagate\u00a0this even further.\u00a0\u00a0 What suggestions do you have to help teens show restraint, when &#8220;everyone\u00a0 else is doing it? <\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>The Intel study showed that 11% of adults responded <em><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">&#8220;I use mine because everyone is using it too.&#8221; <\/span><\/em>This is\u00a0adults\u00a0saying this?\u00a0 It rings, it beeps, it vibrates, it distracts us.\u00a0 You actually don\u2019t need to react right away to a call, most people leave messages.\u00a0 It&#8217;s all about priorities. \u00a0 Which is more important, the person standing in front of you or the person ringing in?<\/p>\n<p>It is best to come up with heuristics to help guide adults and kids before situations \u00a0arise. \u00a0For example, do you text during a funeral? \u00a0During church? \u00a0According to the Intel study,<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>24% have seen others using their cellphone during funerals.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>21% were annoyed by seeing someone using a cellphone at a funeral.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>25% annoyed by someone else using their cellphone at a religious event.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>To help teens show restraint, many parents have established guidelines regarding their children&#8217;s use of mobile technology:<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<ul>\n<li>49% prohibit use during school<\/li>\n<li>43% prohibit use during family time<\/li>\n<li>18% set limitations on contacts<\/li>\n<li>14% prohibit picture texting<\/li>\n<li>31% disallow mobile Internet usage<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>How do you feel about parents monitoring their teens&#8217; text messages? <\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong> <\/strong>Anna believes monitoring kids&#8217; texts is OK, but as they get older, consider how frequently you need to do this.\u00a0 For example, you trust them when they&#8217;re 17 and they&#8217;re driving the car.\u00a0 As they get older, they need to learn to earn your trust. \u00a0Of course, giving more freedom to teens depends on the kid, the relationship, and the trust they have already earned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>What is the proper etiquette if your\u00a0son receives a sexting or inappropriate message on his phone.\u00a0 What do you recommend that a <a rel=\"attachment wp-att-3489\" href=\"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/23\/mobile-etiquette-who-cares\/mp900386118-400\/\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-3489\" title=\"Teen with cellphone by tree\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900386118-400.jpg?resize=211%2C320&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"211\" height=\"320\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900386118-400.jpg?w=264&amp;ssl=1 264w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900386118-400.jpg?resize=198%2C300&amp;ssl=1 198w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 211px) 100vw, 211px\" \/><\/a>parent doe<\/strong>s?\u00a0 <strong>Should a parent contact the offending sender&#8217;s parents?<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Yes, talk to the other parent. \u00a0If the tables were turned and the other child&#8217;s parents knew about it, would you want to know? \u00a0It&#8217;s important to think about safety, responsibility, even a child&#8217;s social identity.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Anymore you care to add about a parent&#8217;s responsibility with regards to their teens&#8217; misuse of their phone?<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Teens are teens. \u00a0They do not always have the forethought to be prepared in certain situations. \u00a0For example, carrying headphones with them will help ensure they aren&#8217;t bugging other people. \u00a0Help them set up a home charging plan so their phone is always juiced up. \u00a0[WCM add:] Give them a emergency juice pack to give them a few extra minutes to talk if their phone battery power discharged. \u00a0Ensure you do all you can so you don&#8217;t constantly hear, <span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><em>&#8220;I wanted to call you buy my phone was dead.&#8221; <\/em><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Learn about your teen&#8217;s cellphone features so you know how they can improve battery power, turn on GPS for tracking, find important phone numbers, etc.<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>When you&#8217;re talking to somebody and they interrupt you to answer a phone call, what advice do you have for the person standing there waiting?\u00a0 What should they say when the person on the phone ends their call?\u00a0 Is it rude to leave?<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>If you&#8217;re sitting at a table, roll with it unless the person your with does this a lot.\u00a0 At a mixer or chatting with a mom on the playground, just smile, nod, give a wave of the hand, and back out.\u00a0\u00a0 You&#8217;re not being rude.\u00a0 They made you second priority.\u00a0 Your contractual obligation to be present is gone &#8211; they turned their back on you.\u00a0 Same with texting.\u00a0 Say, &#8220;I&#8217;ll let you take care of that and catch you later.&#8221; \u00a0Or, just stop speaking, it&#8217;s more subtle. \u00a0Try not to be scolding, or judgmental in your tone or expression.\u00a0 Nobody likes the etiquette police, whether right or not.<\/p>\n<p>As mobile devices continue to proliferate, manners will continue to be challenged. \u00a0Do your best to be a good example around your kids, remember, they are always watching!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>For more information on Teens and Cellphones see:<\/p>\n<p>WellConnectedMom.com: \u00a0Teens and Cellphones: \u00a0<a title=\"Interview with Dr. Sophy\" href=\"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/2010\/08\/18\/teens-cellphones-a-primer-part-i\/\" target=\"_blank\">A Primer<\/a>,\u00a0<a title=\"Teens and cellphone manners\" href=\"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/2010\/08\/26\/teens-cellphones-manners-a-primer-part-ii\/\" target=\"_blank\">Manners<\/a>,\u00a0<a title=\"Teens, cellphones, and Safety\" href=\"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/2010\/09\/02\/teens-cellphones-safety-a-primer-part-iii\/\" target=\"_blank\">Safety<\/a>, and\u00a0<a title=\"Teens, Cellphones...and what is Sexting?\" href=\"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/2010\/09\/10\/teens-cellphones-sexting-a-primer-part-iv\/\" target=\"_blank\">Sexting<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Intel\u2019s\u00a0Mobile Etiquette newsroom<\/p>\n<p>Other Teen articles: \u00a0<a title=\"Great advice by Dr. Charles Sophy\" href=\"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/10\/5-tips-when-talking-to-your-teens-about-car-safety\/\" target=\"_blank\">5 Tips When Talking to Your Teen About Car Safety<\/a><\/p>\n<p>* Intel provided me the opportunity to talk to Anna Post via phone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Intel conducted a study on the use of mobile technology by both parents and kids.  I interviewed Anna Post, from the Emily Post family, to get her insight from the study on mobile tech etiquette.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3491,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,12,13,14,20],"tags":[790,380,789,791,788,266,792],"class_list":["post-3474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interview","category-iphone","category-kids","category-moms","category-technology","tag-anna-post","tag-cellphone","tag-cellphone-manners","tag-intel","tag-mobile-etiquette","tag-teens","tag-when-should-my-child-have-a-cellphone","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/p-content\/themes\/atahualpa342\/images\/articles\/2011\/07\/MP900448484-400.jpg?fit=400%2C320&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3474","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3474"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3474\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3491"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnectedmom.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}